The first thing that I have to get off my chest is this… 2009 is actually my 10 year reunion from high school. YUCK.  But I do admit I look really great for my age! And now I will move on….

2009 is gearing up to be an exciting, excellent, elevating, eventful and encouraging year! I also know that with these things are going to come testings ,obstacles, struggles and maybe a little chastisement (for when I choose to not do the right thing, maybe…hoping this will NOT happen!). I am shifting my mindset for these things and for what is to come. I am preparing my spirit to handle these things and to tell my soul (mind, heart, emotions, personality) to quit trying to control everything. I must learn to fully rely on my spirit and Father God rather than what I think is best.

This year is so different than any other year. Despite getting married in under six months (Holy Cow!), I have a lot of training and equipping that is going on in my life. In addition, I also have been put into activation.

The first goal I hope and pray to accomplish in 2009 is my fast. Fasting is very difficult for me. I LOVE FOOD! I love Olive Garden, Elizabeths Pizza and Atlantic Bread Company, but I am praying for God to lead me and show me new things as I fast fin order to receieve clarification, revelation and spiritual adrenaline. My ultimate goal would be 40 days. I start today. I am viewing this fast one day at a time not as a whole group of days.  I am continually preparing my mind and spirit. This is a test for me.

Some other new things I am tackling are:

• Teaching, delegating and facilitating the ICIT course at UFC
• Undergoing leadership training in the “In Search of Timothy” yearlong intense sessions
• Teaching “Ultimate Kidz” at UFC
• Worship leading on Ultimate Praise
• Life Mentoring with Pastor Timothy
• Marriage counseling with Pastors Timothy & Diane

The list can continue. But these things above are high priority on my list. As I look at them I remember the wonderful triangle of “Rights and Responsibilties” and the verse which says, “To whom much is given, much is required”.

Can I remind you that we don’t “earn”, “desereve” or “prove” in order to receive gifts from Father God? He simply gives as he sees fit. So if you have a lot of gifts with a lot of things to do…the one thing you should not do is complain or say, “It’s not fair”. I can already tell you you are correct:  its not fair. So…Deal. Take your gifts and move onto the new year ready to tackle the things the Lord has laid out for you!

What are you new goals, purposes and plans for 2009?!?

its inevitable.
as soon as you start dealing with all the junk in your life…
you get HIT. and hard.
my goal as a disciple of Christ is not to be famous.
not to be fabulous.
not to flashy.
not to be this incredibly gifted person…
but to be in an intimate dialogue with my master, savior, friend and lover.
dont get me wrong, i want to mold and shape the gifts he has blessed me with.
but more than anything i want to be so close to my lord that
he whispers his intentions, his thoughts, his plans and his stratgies to me.
i want him to trust me. use me. know me. love me.
i want to be intrigued by him and i want him to be intrigued by me.
i refuse to settle for the “relevant christian” lifestyle or the mediocrity that has so plagued other christians today.
how can we serve such a powerful, invincible god and yet live such mundance, routine lives?
how can i sit and observe what my god can do instead of show others what my god can do?
is this road tough?
i would be lying if i said “no”.
is it worth not traveling anymore?
hecketh noeth (as ashley would say).
the past 15 months of my life have been so earth-shattering wonderful that i wouldnt even hesitiate in answering that.
i would never “pause”, “sit on the sidelines” or “not press in as hard” when it comes to my savior.
he gave his all for me, so in turn, because i love him so increbibly much, i will give my all for him.
so despite this uphill climb that gets
a little tough.
i will endure and i will finish my race.
i have nothing to prove to anyone.
just a really LONG dialogue to continue on with my savior.

im 26 years old.
ive never been married.
ive never been engaged. and
i just realized who i am.

i just realized my full worth.
i just realized that He loves me despite, well…me.
i just realized that my intimacy should be out of this world with Him.
i just realized that I could be intimate with Him.
i just realized that I can be happy daily. despite of my circumstances.

but i also realized that she is who i long to be.
the one who is known for her servant heart.
the one known for being up from dawn to dusk.
the one who makes her husband known.
the one who is virtuous.
the one who is worth more than rubies.
the one who treats her husband with good and
the one whose husband trusts her.completely.
the one who provides for her family.
the one who girds herself with strength and
the one who finds the best deal in town …[im great at that].
the one who is prepared at all times.
the one who is honored.
the one who is kind.
the one whose children call her blessed.
the one whose husband praises her.
the one who fears the lord.

so i think i have a lot to work on to be…
that girl.

but dont worry….its not an impossible task.

im on my way.

i was teaching today
(as i do EVERYday)
and i was talking to one
of my students about how
i had laid out all the
materials he needed,
showed him what to do,
told him what to do,
gave a model for what to do
& he still wasnt doing it right.
he wanted to hurry up and finish instead of doing things the right way.

thats when god said,
“see how frustrated you are right now,
ever think i feel kinda frustrated with you
when i give you all the materials, supplies,
and show you what to do and you still dont?”

wow. that opened up my eyes. seriously.
its like he has all these things lined up for us
to “grow up” and yet we still choose not to.
he gave us the bible. Jesus. books. churches.
pastors. teachers. prophets. apostles. evangelists.
time. knowledge. reading skills. writing skills.
fine motor skills. eyes. ears. mouths. hands.
energy. movement. brains.

is there anything else we need to get this stuff into our beings?

honestly, he has given us MORE than enough
to chase after him and catch him, yet we
still sit here and say,
“God I cant do it” or
“God I need more!”

when actually we cannot contend with the “footmen”
we already have.

goodness. will we ever make it to contending with horses?

jeremiah 12:5
(guess where he still has me reading?!?)
“If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you,
Then how can you contend with horses?…”

we, (as in disciples) think we are totally prepared.
are we getting prepared? totally.
are we trying our best? im sure.
are we ready for a full all-out battle? absolutely not.

read that verse for yourself.
we get so tired of doing our earthly duties and
supposedly keeping up with our “responsibilities” that
we get so pooped out. we cannot even keep up
with what needs to be done in the natural, let alone
anything in the supernatural
(ohhh, i said it…supernatural. now please dont get all freaky on me people.
 if you are unsure, try, um, well, reading the bible. that should fill you in…)
seriously, we are trying so hard to keep with “footmen”
(and here, footmen can be a number of things…)
that we arent even close, near, or ready to contend with horses who will trample all over us.

so, dont pass the time just thinking you should hang with the footmen.
eventually you will get drained and will no longer be able to endure…
and then they will trample you. so you wont even make it to the horses.

prepare yourself. gird yourself in truth. take on the armor.
spend time with the man. the creator. our friend. and lover.
spend time in his word. grow.change. transform.
see what happens.

maybe soon you will be able to contend with horses.

so lately the lord has been having me
read in the book of jeremiah.
its quite the amazing book, full of things that
are so relevant to our world today…
not to mention lots of things that cause me to ponder our world and society in the state that it is in.

enter in jeremiah 11:10
“…they have gone after other gods to serve them…”
so then and now, this is the story of society. the fact is this:
everyone “believes in god”
everyone “prays to god” and
everyone “loves god”.
but where are the ones who:
“co-create” with god.
“talk” with god. and who are
“in love” with god.

big difference here people. almost everyone i run into or i encounter believes that there is a god. well there are also those people that believe in bigfoot and the lockness monster, not to mention they also believe that “britney spears is a good person”.
its funny how we as a society are all after what we consider “the american dream”.
you know the fashion, the money, the cars, the house, the pool, heck the pool boy…
anything that serves as a god before the king of kings, we seem to seek after in our flesh.

its like we are telling god…”hey big guy, i thought about it, and well, you just arent good enough…
i am gonna have to go after these things and put them in front of you in order to be happy…”

can i give you a clue? god doesnt play that game.
the fact of the matter is this: hes a jealous god. hes a just god. hes a territorial god.

and if you arent gonna make him a priority, heck he’s just gonna up and spit you out of his mouth.
again, case in point, he doesnt have time for you to serve other things and make him second, third, or fourth on your list.

take a  moment. what takes your gods place? honestly…
is it money?
a car?
a relationship?
your career?
food?
a hobbie?
a habit?

realize that without the hand of the almighty god you would be without these things…he has blessed you beyond
measure with these things with the hope that you will still place him in his rightful place…its his due place ya’ll.

so take the king of kings, place him, oh so gently right there at the top, on the pedestal, thats it…
right there, right where he belongs.

and start again.

and this time, dont move him.

its been an interesting day.
first day back in action
in my second home.
complete with fridge & dishes,
and soon to be microwave!
children. lots of children.
all in uniforms i might add.
that are now mandatory.
and oh, so cute!
parents. lots of parents.
lots of questions.
uncertainity.
nervousness.
wonders.
all expose themself today as
they learn to regain composure
after parting with part of
themselves.
smiles.
thank god. could have been tears.
actually an amazing start.
to a hopefully amazing year.
im uncertain myself.
but know that i am
already in love with
the munchkins that
have entered into
my realm.
which, by the way,
is completely covered
with prayer.

so i head to the
dreaded gym where
i know he will take
advantage of me in
every way possible.
i know what youre thinking:
“get a new trainer”.
absolutely not.
for if i did not want
to vomit or completely
pass out…that, my friend
would not be a good workout!

followed by a refreshing
and off to dinner.

high school friends.
re-connecting after
seven years.
seven the number of completion.
its a divine appointment.
we share.
we eat.
we drink starbucks.
we talk.
for three hours.
fabulous.
so great to see her.
so great to hang out.

so i sit here.
wishing i was at my laptop,
which is sick, yet again.
and i say “wow!”.
and i shrug my shoulders in
the fact that i am fascinated
with my life, my walk,
my lord.

tomorrow will be a new day.
yours will be too.

pathways.

its been said
that there are
many paths in life.
but I believe
i think its
been revealed [to me]…
that there is
only one;
one path.
one path? (you may say).
one path.
my Savior makes
one path.
when we choose to not follow His
path—we make
our own.
we do not choose
to take
another pre-made
path.
we choose to make our own.
He makes one path.
because one is
sufficient.
His way is enough.
more than enough.
our path we
make is made
with our own
decisions.
so when we
hit bumps on the path;
they are our own bumps.
He did not design
this path for you or for me.
our path =
our own agenda.
our own timing.
our control.
our own.
oh, but His path…
is beyond enough.
every turn.
every bump.
every crack
has been designed for you
and for me.
and for “such a time as this”.
He has custom
designed each
challenge.
victory.
trial.
tribulation.
event.
circumstance.
joy.
every detail of His creation,
His pre-determined way
has been specifically designed
to fit
my
[&&yours]
strengths.
weaknesses.
calling. and
purpose.
so…there is one path.
already set forth.
for me.
for you.
will you make your own?
or will you let Him show you
around His neck of the woods???…
let Him show you
your pathway.
the one.
one path.
made just for you.
{&&me}. 

Psalm 16:11… “You will show me the path of life….”  lisa talks: it says that you will show me the path, not a path. i do not believe that our Father has made several different paths for us to choose from. i believe that He has made one. its really that simple. are you going to take that one path, that may be sacrificial or seem never-ending or even a dead end…or are you going to walk by faith on the pathway that He has set out for you. He has laid a major foundation so that you can freely walk through life and the best part is that on this one path…He walks with you. next to you. he talks to you; conversates with you. he loves on you. he yearns to talk & be intimate with you. imagine that…the creator of all things, knower of all things, god of all the heavens and earth…stands right beside you holding your hand, dancing with you, drying your tears, and breaking shackles and chains that hold you bound. sounds like a good deal to me.why don’t you try your own pathway today?lj.

*This is a fictional piece that I had to write for my Writer’s Guild. Let me know what you think….

Bryce Worthington Ms. WorthingtonMs. Worthingtonits 7:00. Its time for you to get up Ms. Worthington.I totally cringed at the sound of my own name. I was not ready to get up. How did 7:00 get here so fast?Ms. Worthington, youre going to be late for your appointment if you dont get upMy appointment?With your father.UghI didnt know we had an appointment today? And since when did I have to start making appointments to speak with my fatherCollege Ms. Worthington. The options for your schooling, Maria said matter of fact.I know where I want to go to school Maria, I said still saturated in my 1500 count Egyptian cotton sheets, The Fashion Institute in Los Angeles.Um..yes, Ms. Worthington, I do believe that I understand to where you are referring, Maria said filling my room with sunshine as she whisked open all of the chocolate suede curtains in my room. But your father was hoping maybe you would considering attending somewhere like New York University or maybe even his alma mater, Notre Dame.The place with the humpback guy? Ive seen that movie Maria. And let me tell you, I am not interested, I made sure to emphasize the not.Ms. Worthington, you must get up and go, she said one last time as she exited my suite.Awghfine!I stumbled out of the king-size mahogany sleigh bed, slipped on my Dolce & Gabbana frames and headed down to the gourmet kitchen to see what Henry had prepared for breakfast.Egg whites again, I said in a monotone voice, Yay. My facetiousness made a path through the stainless steel appliances and marble counters. I plopped my behind down at the massive dining table with royalty size chairs. Name is Bryce Worthington. Im 18, brown hair, brown eyes, and on the verge of changing the world. Through fashionthat is. I am going to challenge and mold the fashion world, as you and I know it. I am determined, in your face, and not to mention, extremely sassy. If there was a soundtrack for my life the song Girls Just Want to Have Fun would be my theme track, not to mention songs by Kelly Clarkson, Celine Dion, and one thrown in there by the great band Queen.My Daddy is a CEO. Dont even bother to ask me what he does or what he makes. It is too hard to keep up with. I simply smile and ask for the Visa with each trip to Kate Spade, Prada, and Juicy Couture. I am at the top of my Daddys world; I am his girl. The one and only. I have been since I was four years old. That is when my Mom passed away. Cancer. In her lungs. Neither Daddy nor I like to talk about that time in our lives. But we do like to talk about her smile. And the fact that she was love.My mother worked for years under the great names of fashion: Burberry, Louis Vuitton, and Calvin Klein. She left her mark wherever she was. Wherever she went. Whatever she did. Without question, everyone knew it was Dianne Worthington. And now I wanted to follow in her footsteps.There was only one problem. The parental unit. Despite the success that my mother had in the fashion arena, my Dad is incredibly hesitant about me even considering the option of entering that field. Bryce a business degree from an elite accredited college would take you a lot further than anything from a silly fashion school or Baby B (as he would refer to me at times) how about joining the leagues of my alma materlike father, like daughter?. But Daddy didnt know my heart. He didnt realize my passion. I wanted to change things like my Mom. I wanted to pursue something that I loved. And believe me fashion is something that I absolutely adore. And today was just another attempt for my father to completely diminish my dream and try to convince me that the proper decision would be that of the one he wanted. And he did his research and his planning for these meetings that we often had and now scheduled. He brought in the fashion school dropouts, the ones that graduated and filled in a pair of shoes at the local Quik Mart instead of the local offices of Ralph Lauren, and ones who are continuing their goals in the basements of their parents estates. You know, he goes the complete nine yards. He does everything in his human willpower and CEO status to utterly extinguish the dreams that I have. But maybe today will be different. Who knows? Well despite that, I am going to slip on my Manolo stilettos and grab my Balenciaga and I am out the door.